change.

Change is a funny thing. It's beautiful, scary, intense, and usually full of fear. Sometimes we thrive in change, while other times we fail. Change is stepping out into the unknown, trusting that this next step is where you were meant to be. 

I have been contemplating change for two months now and it's quite exhausting. I took in all my "lasts", which was absolutely beautiful. I left all my friends, my support, and my church family, which was scary. I moved to a brand new city where I knew a handful of people and I am clearly the minority, which is intense. I knew change was occurring but I did not want to acknowledge it because it meant I was vulnerable and no longer in control. Each step I have taken in the past month has led to change. 

For the past 3.5 years, I have measured my time by semester length and my success by my grades. And now, all of a sudden or what feels like all of a sudden, I have to start measuring my time and success by something else. It's like just when I thought that saying goodbye, moving to a new location, and not going to school were change enough, it hits me. My entire life and way of living are about to be rooted up and changed. 

And then I spoke to a dear friend. She spoke to the chapter in life I was exiting and the one I was about to enter. She challenged me to focus my eyes back on Him, the one that brought me into this world and made a beautiful plan for it. The one who has stood by me through it all and has not left me yet.

And then we made a pact. We are no longer going to just make it through life, or the next chapter, but we are going to live, and I mean truly LIVE life to the fullest. We are going to do things for ourselves and actually take care of ourselves. Because in college, you learn to make it from exam to exam, maybe remembering to eat in between. Or you plan your schedule so full, hoping you won't have to feel the pain of what's really going on. But when you think about it, that's no way to live. So here it is, my vow. I vow to take the next year of life (if not longer), and live. I will take every opportunity given to me to fully experience all life has to offer. I will wake up each morning and thank the faithful God who made me, for another day to live. I will not take life for granted.

With all of that said, I want to use this blog to document my next year of living. I want to share what I am learning and the path that life is taking me. I am setting goals for this next year of life and will use this blog to share the process. 

1) Learn to cook 

2) Learn to love wholeheartedly 

3) Learn to be spontaneous and let go

"growth means change and change involves risk, stepping from the known into the unknown"