Be alert, Be present.

Lately, I've found myself with no words, just tears. It's been one of those weeks where you come crashing in your room at night, you have nothing left but exhaustion. You fall to the floor and sob because for those few moments, the world is paused. Nothing is being asked of you, no one is judging. It's just you and God. You can fall to pieces and you can cry until you have nothing left to cry. It's been one of those weeks ... 


And while I'm figuring out which way is up and which is down, I'm left wondering if this life is worth fighting for. I see this beautiful life in sight. One consisting of wholeness, a steady job, and a family to call my own. But is the fight worth it? I'm exhausted. I've been fighting for so long and I'm just wiped out. 


The irony of this? Every single day this week I've been shown a brand new reason why this life is worth fighting for. It's worth fighting for because it's mine. I have a story to write, memories to make. It's worth fighting for because God gave it to me. He specifically wrote my story and knew every single chapter in it. He knew I'd have moments of joy, moments of sorrow, and moments of running myself ragged. It's worth fighting for because there are some who are fighting for it with everything they have and still won't win. I could go on and on, but I won't. The point is that my life is worth fighting for. Why should I waste a perfectly beautiful life because of a little exhaustion. I serve a God who never sleeps nor slumbers. A God who has open arms and is waiting for me to finally wake up and embrace all He has for me.


Isaiah 43:1-5, The Message - "Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end— Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you. So don't be afraid: I'm with you.”